The Next 50

by Audrey Wauson

Today I turned 50 … nifty 50. It is not something I’m ashamed of. I’m not 29 and holding. Although I enjoyed being 29, I also enjoyed being 30, and 40, and intend to enjoy being 50. I kinda wish my hair would turn gray or white or frosted so that I’d look like I had some wisdom about me. But it’s still my dishwater blonde … highlighted reddish blonde … that’s it’s been for years. I still weigh basically the same 135 – 140 pounds. I still have my ADD tendencies. I still enjoy talking and meeting people. I still love to sing. Basically I’m still me. The me that you know (the good, the bad, the ugly).

If you are reading this you are someone who has helped to shape who I’ve become in some way or another. But there is a me that you don’t know. The me that I was meant to be. The me that I sometimes avoid. This is the me that I hope you will someday see. The me that I hope you will pray for me to be. The me that I need to be.

In the first 50 years of my life I was blessed with abundant blessings: good health, healthy children, a good … great marriage, wonderful friends, opportunities to travel, educational endeavors and achievements, lovely houses to live in, wonderful neighbors, saw many beautiful sunrises and sunsets, heard amazingly glorious music, felt the softness of a baby’s hand, tasted some delicious food, smelled the sweet fragrance of beautiful flowers, through all of which I learned a knowledge of God.

In the first 50 years of my life I was also blessed with many trials: sick children, hospital stays, stressful moves, loneliness, lack of monetary funds, quarrels, roaches & mice, leaking roofs & toilets & sinks, friends who rejected me and friends who died, rebellious children, fights with my spouse, cancer, car accidents, broken appliances, misunderstandings … through all of which I learned more about trusting and believing in God.

When I think back on my life though, it revolved around me; what I wanted, my goals, my plans, my dreams, my desires, my friends, my family, my neighbors … my, my, my.

In this second half of my life I want to learn a healthy fear of God. What will it take? Where do I start? What does the Lord require of me but to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God? How in the world do I do that? Where do I learn to fear Him? God please let me hear from You clearly! Lord, please reveal Yourself to me very clearly … at least in such a way that I do not doubt Your direction … please Lord, use me. Here I am, your servant, … use me.

Also, in this second half of my life my plan, my dream is to pursue what God wants. I want to find out what His goals are, His dreams & desires, who His friends are, who does He call family … I want my thoughts to be about Him and His. What I want now for the next 50 years is to live every day, every moment reflecting Him, doing the things that He wants me to do, the things that He created me to do.

I want to thank you for being my friend, for sharing with me. I pray that God will bless you for every act of kindness that you have shown to me and my family. And that you would feel His blessing upon your life. I truly hope that you enjoyed this day, December 18, 2008, my birthday.

Audrey Wauson

Be Thanksful

by Barbara Chadwick

Psalms 92:1
It is good to give thanks to the LORD, and to sing praises to Your
name, O Most High.

When I am thankful my spirit lifts from the ground to the sky. Try it
and you'll see that it works.

Today I am thankful for:
God's Love
God's provision throughout life
God's mercy and grace to me -the imperfect, ungracious, undeserving one
God's leading
Opportunities to serve Him
Family - Godly parents, a Godly husband, Children who love and serve
Him, and Grandchildren who love and serve Him
Our home - and that we can share it with others
The beauty of the mountains that surround our home
Sunrises and Sunsets and their dependability
Snow
Stars - the incredible beauty of a clear night sky
Seasons
Music and how it lifts our spirits
Praise to the Lord
Seeing God work in people's lives
Seeing the giftedness in individuals
Friends
Health - in our 60's and 70's we can still:
walk and climb stairs,
drive, exercise, love,
read, cook, clean house (ugh)
play piano, write, work on computer
For church

God's Blessings are: Incredible, Uncountable, Reliable, Dependable,
Generous, Inspiring

Will They Remember You?

by Audrey Wauson

As I was reading my Bible this morning I was noticing that whenever I think of Mary and Joseph, I think of Jesus. And whenever I think of Zachariah and Elizabeth I think of what God allowed them to be a part of. And when I think of the shepherds and the wise men, I think of God’s glory and angels.

It got me to thinking… when my name is mentioned …do people think of Him? Is my story… hmm.

You see we each of us tell each other stories all day long. We explain how we got an A on the exam, the studying that went into it etc. We explain to each other the intricate details of how we got into and out of a fight with someone else. And usually we tell our story in such a way as to highlight why we were right and they were wrong. We recount the funny, sad, strange things that happen in our lives. But how prominent is He in our stories. Read through the Old and New Testament, lots of great plots, twists, turns… but who are the stories about? What is the point?... God, His Son Jesus, the gift of His Spirit, salvation, grace, mercy, and love.

Anyways, I got to wondering this morning …do my stories lead to Him? What is the plot? Is He the climax of my stories? Do my stories reveal more of His character to others? Do I remind myself and others through my narratives that there is no god like my God? It got me to wondering …

Is there enough evidence of You, in me
That when others hear my name …
They remember You?

Daily someone new is born
Born to display Your grace
“born to” grows into …(not often) “lived to” …
Have I lived to spread Your fame?

After I am dead and gone
In the stories told about me …
Will they remember You?

Please Dear God, I don’t ever want to forget who You are and what You have done for me. Especially this season, when I am reminded of how ordinary people trusted You enough to tell others of the truly great things that You did in their lives. You are so amazing! Please help me to tell my stories in such a way that people remember that “nothing is impossible with God” Luke 1:37 and we “are blessed because we believe that the Lord will do what He says” Luke 1:45. Help me to spread Your fame throughout the whole earth!

Thanksgiving the Joy Of Giving

by Barbara Chadwick

Paul quotes Jesus in Acts 20:35, "It is more Blessed to give than to
receive."

Kenneth Ryan and Abigail delivered papers all year long in Sitka. They saved some of every pay check so that when they went to Grandma and Grandpa's house in the summer, they could pay for their four cousins to accompany them to the water park. What a blessing to see this spirit of sharing and giving.

Michael, 16, and Zachary, 15, came from Missouri to Colorado to work with their uncle in building construction for six weeks. It was hard work. They go tired. They missed their friends and family. They
learned a lot. At the end of six weeks they came to stay with Grandma
and Grandpa until their family came out at Christmas. Their parents
had enough money to make the trip but not enough to buy presents. So the boys, using their work money, provided presents for everyone.
What a joy to see them buy, wrap and place those gifts under the
tree - to see the anticipation of the joy of giving.

'nough said!

by Audrey Wauson

‘nough said!
Have you ever been a member of a volunteer organization? Some of them are so very well organized. Some of them aren’t organized at all but they have a great time. Others aren’t either one. But the ones I have always enjoyed and wanted to go back to again and again, are the ones where everyone is excited to participate at whatever level and for however long.

Our praise team is one of those that isn’t very organized but we are all having a great time. Mostly because we all want to sing and worship and we’re willing to do it even if it means giving up some control over the outcome. Sometimes that’s hard for me … the giving up control thingy. I kind’a like structure and dependability and knowing what’s going to happen. And most of the time … ok a lot of the time :P … my life isn’t like that.

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

So sometimes I find myself griping and complaining to God and other people about wanting things to happen a certain way and they didn’t … and wanting people to do certain things and they don’t … and just letting them know all of my complaints. Well recently someone I know began complaining to me the way I’ve been complaining to God … and I didn’t like it! I mean, really, I was doing the best I could given my schedule and level of authority. And I began huffing and puffing inside when all of a sudden God brought to my mind several instances recently and in the past where I had complained to Him and to others in the same manner. (Stab! … Ugh!)

One of the things I’ve learned in college is buy the textbook. Really it helps to read what you’re supposed to be learning. Another thing I’ve learned to do is to underline and highlight the things that you want to learn. God has given us the greatest textbook ever! You don’t have to buy new and improved editions or updates. The cost is considerably less than most college textbooks and it comes in a variety of readable translations. Guess what? God had something to teach me from His book.

Philippians 2:14 NLT - Do everything without complaining or arguing, Why?

2:15 … so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.

Galations 6:4 NLT - Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else.
5. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.
6. Those who are taught the word of God should provide for their teachers, sharing all good things with them.
7. Don't be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God.
You WILL always harvest what you plant.
8. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.
9. So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.
10. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.

Philippians 4:4 NLT - Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!
5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.
7 Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I pray that God will bless your week and that you will know the thrill of doing whatever, whenever, for whoever, just ‘cuz you get to do it with Him! ‘nough said!

Come Thou Fount

by Barbara Chadwick

Come Thou fount of every blessing. Come gracious Father, the One who bestows every kind of blessing, come into my heart. Come into my life and help me to be pleasing to You.

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace. Praise bands tune their instruments before leading worship. Lord, would you tune my heart so my worship would be pleasing to Your ear? I know that attitude is key to worship. Glorious Lord tune my heart so I can hear Your voice. Tune my heart so I can be gracious to others. Tune my heart so when I speak, words of love and mercy come out of my mouth and not angry words or spiteful, stubborn or sarcastic words.

Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise. Lamentations 3:23 says Your mercies never cease and they are new every morning. I do praise You, Lord and my praise bubbles over into singing.

Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. I would like to learn a song that angels sing so that my praise would be appropriately. I cannot by myself think of words grand or eloquent enough to express such lofty thoughts.

Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it, mount of Thy redeeming love. Mount Calvary! Lord, how can we merit so great a salvation? I praise You for your grace and mercy to me, one who doesn’t deserve one drop of the blood You spilt for me.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer. Ebenezer – a stone of remembrance. I need something in my home or my life like an Ebenezer. I have my wedding ring to remember my wedding vows; my diploma to remember graduation from college; birth certificates to show the birth of four children. Some people have a picture of their baptism, some wall plaques to indicate to visitors where they have placed their faith. I have my Bible to show my allegiance to You, Lord. Is that enough? Do I carry it with me often enough? Is there something about me that when people see me they say, “There goes that lady who is a Christ follower”?

Hither by Thy help I’m come. So up to this point in my life You have been with me. You have guided, comforted and taught me through Your Word.

And I hope by Thy good pleasure safely to arrive at home. To be at home with You, Lord, what joy, what peace, what security. Glorious!

Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood. It is very humbling, Lord, to think that You wanted me, that You were drawing me with cords of love even when I was far from You.

Oh, to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be! I owe my very days to You. My possessions, the air I breathe, where I am in this world belong to You.

Let Thy grace, Lord, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Fetter -s a chain or shackle. Would you bind Your grace and love around my heart and mind, Lord, like a shackle so that when I’m prone to wander from You it would pull me back into Your Presence?

Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above. Lord, I offer my heart. I want to put my life in Your hands. I ask You to take my self and seal it, bind it to You.

Faithful the Promises of Our Dear Lord

by Audrey Wauson

Recently precious family friends lost their oldest son to an unexpected accident. I guess accidents are always unexpected, but … well there are never words, only incredible, emotions. Emotions I never knew I had …. My husband and I made a flying trip back to Waco. The drive there was full of purpose, of prayer, of a sense of something to do, something that would help the pain. There we visited and grieved with the family and with other close friends. We caught up on things you forget to share in emails. Smiled and cried and hugged.

Then we drove home and the miles seemed longer. Everything reminded us of the loss. The tears were less frequent, but the pain seemed to have settled into a deep deep ache. We were reminded through our reminiscing that our Father also lost His Son. But most incredible to us was the way that our dear friend trusted God, in probably the most painful time of his life.

Steve and Eileen, other friends, were asked to break the news to our friend, Kevin. As they told him what happened, he bowed his head and said, “God is good.” They said that you could just practically see the presence and peace of God descend on him. Oh that we could live so prepared that when the hurricane storms of life come and destroy parts of our lives (sometimes big parts, sometimes small) our eyes are so fixed on heaven that we can truly know and believe that God is good.

Kevin shared that for a few weeks leading up to this, God had been showing him that the outer bands of a hurricane can do much damage, but it warns of a bigger danger coming. He said, at the memorial service for his son, we live in perilous times and it’s important that we realize that the outer bands of destruction are already here and we must pay attention. We must tend to the important things in life. Prepare for a time of great trial by spending time with God seeking to know Him better. During a storm is not the time to build, it’s the time to survive. And those who weather the storm best are those who are prepared. The death of his wife two years ago was probably an outer band and the Lord was preparing him for such a time as this.

I pray that you will make time to sit still and listen to whatever the Lord may want to share with you. We are not living in an easy time. Let’s prepare for the storm by remembering the promises of our Dear Lord. A few days after we returned home, I was trying to process my feelings, my pain, and I wrote this poem.

Faithful the Promises of Our Dear Lord

A man and his wife
Blessed with gifts from above
A girl ‘n a boy ‘n a boy ‘n a girl
Now a mom and a dad

… Then there were six

Memories and moments
Wrapped up as treasures
A blanket against
Life’s painful measures

The blanket pried open
By hands from above
Tenderly took one
The mom … out of love

… Then five clung together

The pain cut like a cold winter wind
HIS hand wrapped the blanket ‘round
Pulled it closer to HIM
Trembling hearts heard HIS voice speak
Comfort ‘n Hope ‘n Promise ‘n Peace

Then without warning another was taken
Snatched from the blanket,
The others cried, shaken
“Dear God, what is happening?
What are YOU doing?
In all of this pain,
Where now is our hope?
Where is the gain?”

Silence the answer …

A father’s head down
A heart bowed in reverence
A voice in the night
“God is good” he whispers

… Then there were four

For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD.
"They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

AW

Thank You

by Barbara Chadwick

In our Sunday School class our teacher asked us to tell who influenced us to become a Christian. As we went around the room we were all impressed by how God had worked in each of our lives.

In my case it was my mother who actually led me to Christ. Although I had been to church every week since I was three and had attended Sunday School faithfully all that time the words had not penetrated my heart until that week. We had a series of evangelistic meetings (used to be called a revival) in our church. The preacher talked about living a Christ like life and the joy of being a Christian. One morning I asked my mother as she was ironing, “So, just how do you become a Christian?” She put down her iron and sat with me. She said, “You must know that God loves you. You must be sorry for the bad things you have done and you must ask Jesus to forgive you. Then ask Him to come into your heart and save you.” I said, “OK” and she prayed with me to accept Christ as Savior.

Others said:

VBS

Sunday School teacher

Wife

Friend

Grandmother/Grandfather

Family

Church

What a blessing that someone was faithful to speak, to love, to care enough. Who was it in your life that influenced you to look to Jesus – “the author and finisher of our faith”? (Heb. 12:2)

The song, “Thank You” states it beautifully. It says, “Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am a life that was changed. Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am so glad you gave.”

Who led you to the Lord? It would bless his/her heart to hear from you, to know that their faithfulness touched someone; to know that their life had meaning; to know that a life was changed and grew in God’s grace and mercy. And that God’s love now shines through those eyes.

And do you know that song, “May all who come behind us find us faithful.” When we get to heaven wouldn’t it be glorious that someone would come up to us and say, “Thank you for being there. Thank you for living so that I could see Christ in you. Thank you for telling me about Jesus.”

Isaiah 52:7 says, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim salvation, who say, ‘Your God reigns!’

Optical Illusions

by Audrey Wauson

Optical illusions are fascinating. They seem to be one thing when they really are another. The other day my husband and I were looking at the mountains and we realized that some days the mountains seem very large … like they are towering over the city. And on other days the mountains seem small, insignificant, and far away. Then we realized that it was an optical illusion. When the skies are clear, and all you can see is a light blue expanse in every direction, the mountains appear to be small hills and the sky appears immense. However, on cloudy days, especially on days when the clouds are hovering over the mountains and the sky is a dark gray-blue color. Then the mountains are a huge, massive landmark, enveloping the entire visual space of the city.

Some of my friends have family serving time in prison because of reckless behavior. Some of my friends have destroyed their health because of poor choices and bad habits. Some of my friends have lost their families because of selfish pursuits. Their problem is that they forgot that God is God. And like Samson, King David, Ananias, and Sapphira in the Bible, they just did what they thought was good in the moment. They became large in their own eyes. It looked like, at the time, they would get away with it. They forgot to have a fear of God; they forgot that judgment is coming. Their lives were really an optical illusion. In their own eyes they were big. But when the dust settled, when the clouds of self-importance were blown away, when the sky revealed itself, their true size, their true importance became apparent.

Sometimes I forget that God is God and I am NOT. Sometimes I forget that if God judged me according to what I deserve there would be nothing left of me. Sometimes I forget that I need to have a very large and healthy fear of God. I do not want to become someone else’s example of ‘what not to do.'

One of my husband’s favorite preachers, Mac Brunson, quotes a Greek proverb that says, “’The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.’ In other words do not presume that because God has not judged you for your sin that He will not judge you tomorrow.” We need to confess our sins daily, plead the blood of the Lamb who was slain for our sins.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Psalm 139:23,24

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Who may worship in Your sanctuary, LORD? Who may enter Your presence on Your holy hill?
Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
Psalm 15:2

God, please don’t let me continue my life with any illusions about who I am. Please help me to remember who You are and have mercy on me, a sinner saved by the precious blood of Your Son, Jesus.

Distraction

by Audrey Wauson

My son is a wonderful father to my precious granddaughter. He plays with her, changes her, cleans her up, feeds her, he’s just a great dad. One of the highlights of his day is coming home, because his precious little girl waits for him by the door and then squeals with delight when he walks in the door. She holds her little hands up, expectant smile on her face, longing just to be held in her daddy’s arms.

Recently however, my son’s heart is being tested. Some days when he comes home his brother walks in the door with him. He is the new fascination of our granddaughter. So, first she wants to be picked up and hugged by her daddy, then, she reaches for her uncle and wants for him to hold and play with her. This has been rather difficult for my son. He is after all her daddy. He’s the one who pays for her every need. He’s the one who cares for her daily. He’s the one who will sacrifice anything and everything he has for her well-being as well as for her delight. And she’s now turning her attention to her uncle.

I don’t want to make too much of this analogy. However, follow me for a bit. Our Father, our Heavenly Father, has given us everything. We literally have nothing without Him, we are nothing without Him. He has plans for us, plans that will prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) In fact, our Dad was so intent on giving us a future that He sacrificed His first-born Son, He literally allowed Him to be killed in a brutal horrible way, so that we could have a future with Him, so that we could have life now! (John 3:16)

But sometimes we get distracted by other things, other people. We allow other things to come first in our hearts. We throw some token attention to God, like … we go to church Sunday morning or we read a devotional a couple of times a week. Then we’re off to our hobbies, our TV shows, or friends. But what He’s after is our hearts. It’s not that He doesn’t want us to have friends or do other things … but He says that He’s a jealous God … He’s says that there is none like Him … He’s calling us, reminding us, admonishing us … “Get to know Me, spend time with Me and get to know My heart."

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

On Our Way To Town

by Barbara Chadwick

We live in the northwestern mountains of Colorado and it takes an hour and a half to get to town.

We were driving down a long hill with trees on both sides. Above the sky was filled with very dark clouds. We thought we'd be pelted by rain and maybe hail, but coming out on top - on the other side of the hill - we were able to see the whole sky. Blue sky all around! Dotted here and there were thunderheads and that small portion of dark clouds we saw in that tunnel of trees.

Isn't that just like life? We get crushed down by one thing happening in our lives when if we could see the picture from God's perspective we could be encouraged and energized.

Have you heard the song, "Strong Tower" by Marc Byrd, Mark Lee, Jon M. Sumrall and Aaron Sprinkle?

STRONG TOWER

"When I wander through the desert and I'm longing for my home. All my dreams have gone astray. When I'm stranded in the valley and I'm tired and all alone. It seems like I've lost my way. I go running to Your mountain. Where Your mercy sets me free.

You are my strong tower, a shelter over me. Beautiful and mighty, everlasting King. You are my strong tower, a fortress when I'm weak. Your name is true and holy, and Your face is all I see.

In the middle of my darkness, in the midst of all my fear. You're my refuge and my hope. When the storm of life is raging and the thunder's all I hear. You speak softly to my soul. Now I'm running to Your mountain where Your mercy sets me free.

You are my strong tower, a shelter over me. Beautiful and mighty, everlasting King. You are my strong tower, a fortress when I'm weak. Your name is true and holy, and Your face is all I see."

What About the Heart

by Audrey Wauson

My son is a wonderful father to my precious granddaughter. He plays with her, changes her, cleans her up, feeds her, he’s just a great dad. One of the highlights of his day is coming home, because his precious little girl waits for him by the door and then squeals with delight when he walks in the door. She holds her little hands up, expectant smile on her face, longing just to be held in her daddy’s arms.

Recently however, my son’s heart is being tested. Some days when he comes home his brother walks in the door with him. He is the new fascination of our granddaughter. So, first she wants to be picked up and hugged by her daddy, then, she reaches for her uncle and wants for him to hold and play with her. This has been rather difficult for my son. He is after all her daddy. He’s the one who pays for her every need. He’s the one who cares for her daily. He’s the one who will sacrifice anything and everything he has for her well-being as well as for her delight. And she’s now turning her attention to her uncle.

I don’t want to make too much of this analogy. However, follow me for a bit. Our Father, our Heavenly Father, has given us everything. We literally have nothing without Him, we are nothing without Him. He has plans for us, plans that will prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) In fact, our Dad was so intent on giving us a future that He sacrificed His first-born Son, He literally allowed Him to be killed in a brutal horrible way, so that we could have a future with Him, so that we could have life now! (John 3:16)

But sometimes we get distracted by other things, other people. We allow other things to come first in our hearts. We throw some token attention to God, like … we go to church Sunday morning or we read a devotional a couple of times a week. Then we’re off to our hobbies, our TV shows, or friends. But what He’s after is our hearts. It’s not that He doesn’t want us to have friends or do other things … but He says that He’s a jealous God … He’s says that there is none like Him … He’s calling us, reminding us, admonishing us … “Get to know Me, spend time with Me and get to know My heart.”

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,
and He will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

HE KNOWS MY NAME

by Barbara Chadwick

God is the one who knows my name. He doesn't say, "You, down there, with the birthmark on your ear." or, "You! Yes, you. You know who I'm talking to!" or, "Will the one who called me at 2:29 AM with a weary load on her heart, stand up?" No! He knows MY name. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by HIM. He knows my weary loads and the things I fret about. He knows it's ME when I joyfully come praising His Name and He knows it is ME that occasionally puts Him on a shelf to pursue selfish ambitions. He also knows it's ME when I come with a heavy burden or bug request, in fact, He knew my burden even before I asked. He loves me with an incredible and everlasting love. He knows my heart and He knows my name.

In Exodus 33:17 (NIV) God says to Moses: "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."

Isaiah 43:1b-3 (NIV) "But now, this is what the Lord says - He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel." (Insert your own name instead of Jacob or Israel, i.e. "He who created you, Barbara and He who formed you, Audrey") "FEAR NOT, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

John 10:27-29 (NIV) "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. Did your brain hear that? "NO ONE CAN SNATCH THEM OUT OF MY HAND!"

Don't Hurt Your Father's Heart

by Audrey Wauson


My son is a wonderful father to my precious granddaughter. He plays with her, changes her, cleans her up, feeds her, he’s just a great dad. One of the highlights of his day is coming home, because his precious little girl waits for him by the door and then squeals with delight when he walks in the door. She holds her little hands up, expectant smile on her face, longing just to be held in her daddy’s arms.

Recently however, my son’s heart is being tested. Some days when he comes home his brother walks in the door with him. He is the new fascination of our granddaughter. So, first she wants to be picked up and hugged by her daddy, then, she reaches for her uncle and wants for him to hold and play with her. This has been rather difficult for my son. He is after all her daddy. He’s the one who pays for her every need. He’s the one who cares for her daily. He’s the one who will sacrifice anything and everything he has for her well-being as well as for her delight. And she’s now turning her attention to her uncle.

I don’t want to make too much of this analogy. However, follow me for a bit. Our Father, our Heavenly Father, has given us everything. We literally have nothing without Him, we are nothing without Him. He has plans for us, plans that will prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) In fact, our Dad was so intent on giving us a future that He sacrificed His first-born Son, He literally allowed Him to be killed in a brutal horrible way, so that we could have a future with Him, so that we could have life now! (John 3:16)

But sometimes we get distracted by other things, other people. We allow other things to come first in our hearts. We throw some token attention to God, like … we go to church Sunday morning or we read a devotional a couple of times a week. Then we’re off to our hobbies, our TV shows, or friends. But what He’s after is our hearts. It’s not that He doesn’t want us to have friends or do other things … but He says that He’s a jealous God … He’s says that there is none like Him … He’s calling us, reminding us, admonishing us … “Get to know Me, spend time with Me and get to know My heart.”

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,
and He will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

Perceptions

by Barbara Chadwick

Colossians 3:12-17

Friends came to stay all night with us. Little Nikky, five, asked me as I was putting things on the table if we had any ice cream. I told him we didn't. (Since we're retired and eat whatever we want we try not to keep too many fattening things around.) At supper he, whispering, asked his mom if she thought we had any cookies. She whispered back that we didn't. Later he told his mom, "They don't have any ice cream and they don't have any cookies. I think it's because they don't have enough money! Maybe we should go to the store." His perception was that regardless of how pretty our house was or how elegant the meal, served on china; we must be poor because we didn't have any ice cream or cookies!

Do you get perceptions of people when you meet them - like they're rich, poor, angry or gracious. When people meet you what kind of perceptions do they have? Do they perceive you to have the love of Jesus Christ in your heart?

The Message translates verses 12-14 this way: "So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic garment. Never be without it."

How do you Know?

by Audrey Wauson

How do you know if you have a good heart? A heart that is running after God? A heart that fully trusts God? My friend Martha wrote something this week in the CaringBridge journal that blew me away. I want to love and trust God like this. I hope this journal entry will bless and encourage your hearts this week.

Charlie Crane is a friend of ours and he’s got a bad heart. He brought kids from the Children’s Home in Portales to Boy’s Camp every year. He and his wife moved to the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston to wait for a new heart. Although his physical heart is failing him, his spiritual heart, his heart for young boys to know Jesus, is amazingly strong. His wife, Martha, is an incredible woman of faith. Caring for her husband by herself in a strange and different place, God has been faithful to her.

“I know someone (probably more than one person) has been praying for me today. The moving process went very smoothly. I was able to pack and load everything that was left in La Marque in about three hours' time, and I was able to get it all here in just one trip. I still have lots of unloading to do, of course, but I've got the bed made so I can spend the night here in Galveston instead of having to drive back to La Marque. I know I felt the prayers, because every time I would get 'stuck' in the packing and loading process, the Lord would give me a new idea about how to arrange something or pack something or carry something so it was much more efficient. I KNOW none of those ideas came from me. I'm not saying it wasn't hard work; it was. As my mom used to say, 'I'm sore in places I didn't even know I HAD places!'

I look forward to getting the other things into the house and arranged a little more leisurely pace. Tomorrow will be devoted to getting the grab bar installed and the shower seat and bench put together so they are ready for Charlie's arrival. Then after that I'll work on the cleaning, arranging, and decorating stuff.

By the way, if your ever need one of those clothing racks that you put across the seat of your car by hooking either end of it to the already-present clothes hanger, you can find it at WalMart. Be smarter than I was, though. Since this is a travel item, it should be found in the travel department with the suitcases and other travel accessories, right? Nope! Well, maybe since it's about clothing care, it should be found in the clothing care department with the other types of hangers, clothespins, ironing boards and so on, right? Nope! Well, maybe since it goes in the car, it's an automotive accessory and you'll find it the auto department? Right! But as long as you find it, eventually, . . . (I think the Lord is laughing at me again, and gently reminding me that '. . .my thoughts are not His thoughts; my ways are not His ways. . .' )

God is so good to us; and tonight I am exhausted but satisfied to rest in the love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And it is to this indescribable love that I commend each and every one of you. How we appreciate and depend on your love and support through Him in these days! Love to all, Martha”

Read the latest update now by using this link: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/charliecrane

Last Night

by Barbara Chadwick

Last night I was disgruntled after praise team practice. My thoughts went:
- maybe somebody else should be playing the piano
- we should go somewhere else and give the new pastor (here one week) a chance to make his place in the church
- and what IS God going to do with us now?
- what IS our future going to be?

I fretted all the way home from Bellvue to Crystal Lakes - an hour and 15 minutes. When we got home Kenneth began to read from our nightly devotional book - a book on hymns - "God of grace and God of glory"

God of grace and God of glory, on Thy people pour Thy power
then the last words of each verse are:
Grant us wisdom, Grant us courage
For the facing of this hour, For the facing of this hour.

the second verse says:
Set our feet on lofty places, Gird our lives that they may be
Armored with all Christlike graces, I the fight to set men free
Grant us wisdom, Grant us courage
That we fail not man nor Thee, That we fail not man nor Thee

The scripture for the evening was Joshua 1:9 "Be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! Remember, the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

I just started laughing! What an immediate response to my disgruntledness! Praise God! He cares about how we feel.

Lord, I pray that as I remember Your creation, Your mighty acts of deliverance from the Red Sea to the present, and Your Awesome Being, I will remember that You have the desire to care for us and the power to grant us wisdom and courage for the facing of this hour and into old age. Thank You for Your Love and the grace You put into our lives. Amen

I Just Wanna Be A Sheep

by Audrey Wauson

I don’ wanna be a Pharisee…
Cuz they’re not fair you see
I just wanna be a sheep, Baa, Baa. (words to a song my boys learned many years ago)

Pharisee: a self-righteous or sanctimonious person

So I met this woman, actually I see her about once a week, and she drives me crazy. I’m not sure I understand why. She’s very personable, quiet, seemingly intelligent. Then she starts talking. Well, the problem is that in our society we always ask, “How are you?” and so she replies, with a soft sigh, “Oh, I’m ok.” So then you have to ask, “Are you sure? You sound kind of tired.” To which she again softly (and admittedly looking to see if you really want to know) “I’m fine, it’s just the MS.” Or “It’s just been a long week.” Anyways, this woman is not ugly, or abrasive, or in your face, but for some reason her answer and her attitude just irks me.

So being the spiritual person that I am, I begin telling God how much she irritates me. It’s like she’s a walking martyr. I feel like she sucks up all the energy in the room by just walking in. And you know, if this was a one-time deal, or a crisis thing,…I don’t know, I just feel like I’d be more patient. The other thing that really bugs me is that she’s always talking about things that God did for her….a long time ago. There’s nothing fresh, just stale ‘ole woe is me stuff. Mind you I’ve never said anything to her because I’m more sensitive than that, I mean she might actually, really be suffering and I’m just a bit dense.

Then the other day Larry and I were out back moving wood chips and dirt, and the wind was blowing a little, and a bunch of it settled in my sinuses. Actually that would’ve been like Monday I think. So, by Tuesday I had a raging headache. By Wednesday I was exhausted from coughing all night. Thursday I was trying all of the garlic and vinegar cures I could think of (which by the way is the day that my youngest son called and suggested I gargle with salt water and drip some salt water down my nose…I wasn’t ready for anyone else’s solution just yet…I started that on Saturday) Friday I was trying to have my regular quiet time and suddenly this woman’s face and demeanor hit me, as did the memory of several phone conversations I’d had over the past several days of my “illness.” People would hear my voice and say in alarm, “Are you alright?” and I’d croak out some woe is me response and try to be interested in what they were saying, when I really just wanted to focus on the pain and suffering that I was enduring…not very well.

Ah, God is so very good. He is always faithful to point out those areas in my life that are less than stellar. (rueful smile) Since then I’ve been reflecting on how little it took to get me to that whiny, woe is me place. This woman has been sick for several years, multiple Dr.s, numerous self-help remedies, to absolutely no avail. I had been sick less than a week and was reduced to a self-centered, focus on me, baby. Gone is the sanctimonious attitude, the Pharisee that longs for everyone to fit into her mold, to conform to her image of what and how a Christian should suffer. Uggghhh! I hate it when I do that (act stuck-up and know-it-all), and He (God) has to do that (get my attention and remind me who is the Judge.) Sheep on the other hand, are not worried so much about what the other sheep are doing. They are happy to be in the group. They are content to be watered, fed, and given a safe place to sleep. I think… “I just wanna be a sheep, baa, baa.”

I was reflecting that the point that I’d like to be at is where, when I’m hurting, ill, suffering, whatever, that I still am grateful that He loved me enough to die for me, that I still am thankful for His love, care, and compassion for me, that I still worship Him. I’m humbled that He will forgive me for being such a Pharisee to one of His daughters, my sister.

Psalm 130
…Lord, if You considered sins, Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness…I wait for the Lord; I wait, and put my hope in His word…Israel (Audrey) put your hope in the Lord. For there is faithful love with the Lord, and with Him is redemption in abundance… Thank God!

PS. Salt water is very effective. I’m feeling a lot better. Forgiveness is very effective. I’m feeling a lot better.

Your Life - Beautiful and Significant

by Barbara Chadwick

Women of every age seem to struggle with the question, “Am I beautiful? Is there anyone in the whole world who thinks I matter?” Every woman has a unique beauty. How we use that beauty is what defines us to the world. We are created for God’s pleasure. He is the one who gives us significance. Each woman has a physical side – her body, a spiritual side – her soul; and a mental side – her mind. God has given each one of us a task to do. I cannot accomplish your task and you cannot accomplish mine. Henry Blackaby says, “This life is not about what you can do for Christ but about what Christ can do through you.”

Norma Day, author of Timeless Beauty, says, “The key to having a beautiful life is to be able to say, ‘I glorified my creator.’” Will you live a life of significance using the beauty and gifts God has given you to glorify Him? Or will you be like a speck of dust in the wind, blown here and there and end up on a table only to be wiped into the trash by Pledge?

A life of significance recognizes that you were created by God for His pleasure. Psalms 45:11 says, “The King is enthralled with your beauty.” We don’t have to wonder who we are, or grapple with what we are here for, or question when we’ll achieve significance, or where to look for answers. He becomes our identity. In Ephesians 1:11-12 we read, “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory.”

In order to praise Him you need a “Divine Heart Transplant” as Ms. Day calls it. You must realize you have need of a Savior and that salvation comes only through Christ (no matter what Oprah says!) The Bible states clearly in Acts 4:12, “There is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” So Jesus becomes our focus.

We must glorify Him in our attitudes and actions. “There is a beauty in forgiveness and humility which builds an elegance of a godly nature into a woman.” Just as Jesus forgave us we must forgive others. Don’t be like Gollum with the ring, holding onto our slights and slams, saying in our hearts, I’ll never let go of this!” This keeps us in bondage.

Another thing that keeps us in bondage is not forgiving ourselves. We must let go of our own past failures or disappointments so that we can become all Christ meant for us to become. We must give to Christ the, “burnt ashes of our lives.” God takes our brokenness and gives us, “renewed beauty in exchange.” Realize that Jesus is your Life Source, your Advocate and your Best Friend.

It is only in Him that we can accomplish anything. He has given each one a task. He asks each of us the question He asked of Moses, “What’s in your hand?” He has already placed in us what we need to accomplish what He put us here to do. Be obedient. Be FAT (faithful, available and teachable) as Billy Hanks, Discipleship educator, teaches. Do completely whatever He puts in front of you to do. You cannot be a Ruth Bell Graham or a Beth Moore. You must be whoever He made you to be; unique and beautiful in His eyes. Matt Redman said in his book, Inside Out Worship, “He is not looking for something brilliant but for something broken: ‘The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.’ (Ps 51:17) The exercises of our enlightened minds may deduce God, but only our ignited hearts can delight Him – and in turn experience His desire to delight us!"

Let the Lord gather the dust of your body, mold your mind and guide your spirit. Let Him direct your steps into a life of significance and beauty

I’m grateful to the following authors for inspiring me to live a life of significance. I want to recommend their books to you:Experiencing the Resurrection by Henry & Melvin BlackabyInside Out Worship by Matt RedmanThe 4:8 Principle by Tommy NewberryTimeless Beauty by Norma Day

Puddleglum's My Name

by Audrey Wauson

“Puddleglum’s my name. (He’s a Narnia Marshwiggle.) But it doesn’t matter if you forget it. I can always tell you again.” …

“Now,” said Puddleglum. “Those eels will take a mortal long time to cook, and either of you might faint with hunger before they’re done. I knew a little girl – but I’d better not tell you that story. It might lower your spirits, and that’s a thing I never do. So, to keep your minds off your hunger, we may as well talk about our plans.”

“Yes, do let’s,” said Jill. “Can you help us find Prince Rilian?”

The Marshwiggle sucked in his cheeks till they were hollower than you would have thought possible. “Well, I don’t know that you’d call it help,” he said. “I don’t know that anyone could exactly help. It stands to reason we’re not likely to get very far on a journey to the north, not at this time of the year, with the winter coming on soon and all. And an early winter too, by the look of things. But you mustn’t let that make you down-hearted. Very likely, what with enemies, and mountains, and rivers to cross, and losing our way, and next to nothing to eat, and sore feet, we’ll hardly notice the weather. And if we don’t get far enough to do any good, we may get far enough not to get back in a hurry.”
-The Silver Chair (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Sounds like me yesterday. Our pianist is out of town for a month and I’m replacing her. Not a good replacement, but nevertheless with the guy on the drums and another guy on the guitar, we got by. And I’m not used to playing for hours on end. I got up early and ran through the songs at the house, then played them again at the church around 7:30am then with the guitar guy around 8am. Then we actually did the service at 8:30am. Then I played for the run-through at 9am then for the actual service at 9:30, then for the communion at 10:30, then for the 11:15 service and then finally for the last communion at 12:00. Good grief, and next Sunday will be worse because it’s just singing and testimonies the whole time all 3 services, which normally I love, because it’s just straight singing which I can do for hours. But piano playing is another thing.

So in between services while the praise team and band were hanging out waiting for our turn on stage, people were complimenting me and telling me how much they appreciated what I was doing. And what was I saying in response? “Wow, I’m so tired. I can’t believe how tired and sore my arms and shoulders are. I don’t know if I can keep on. I’m sure to make all kinds of mistakes. I’m going to need a nap after all of this. Etcetera a nauseaum…. Ugghhhhh!!!!

Here’s the deal, I had been praying and asking God for the opportunity to do some piano playing and He graciously arranged for me to have that opportunity, along with a coach, in the form of the regular pianist playing through all of the songs on a CD so that everyone in the band could practice at the right tempo. Then when I was scared to death of failing, He not only gave me the strength to do the task, He also provided the mental ability to stay focused. And how did I respond? verbally, to those who asked me about it? Did I go on and on about how good God is? About how He’s so awesome to give me the strength to do this task? About how glorious it is to have Him working through me? Noooooooo, I instead focused on all of the negative aspects, I dwelt on all of my struggles and trials. Oh woe is me, a Marsh-wiggle in need of a new mouth and mind!!

Lord Jesus, please give me a new mouth and mind; a mouth and mind that is thankful for everything that you have given me; a mouth and mind that thinks of everything that is true and noble and right; a mouth and mind that trusts and believes that You are the One who will come and save me!!! Please let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You!!!!! You are so awesome and I’m so grateful that You chose me to play this month. Help me to be worthy of this great honor!!!

WAIT

by Barbara Chadwick

Psalm 46:10a
"Be still and know that I am God"

February is a cold month in northern Colorado. On this particular Sunday there were patches of snow on the ground. The trees seemed to be hovering, their branches fluttering in the wind, nude. All the wildlife we see in summer were in their holes or dens. It seemed as if all creation was waiting for the breath of spring. We were on our way to church, fifty-three miles away, down the mountain. We began on the dirt road out of our community, progressed to a two lane paved road which dead-ended on the highway leading to town.

We saw a hawk sitting on a top branch of a tree, very still, watching, waiting and listening. God seemed to say, "Look. You need to be like that hawk listening for My voice, waiting for My leading and watching to see what I am going to do in your lives."

At this time the church, where my husband has been serving as interim pastor, is about to call a full-time pastor. We are ready. We have been blessed to be here but now it's time for the next step.

Some days I feel anxious because we don't know yet where God wants us to serve next in our retirement. God brings the hawk to my mind - still - waiting, watching and listening. He seems to say, "You are not at a dead-end but I am about to bless your lives in a wonderful way. Just be still and know that I am God."

Fixing Wrinkles

by Audrey Wauson

Some things don’t need ‘fixing’ as much as they need accepting.

So you know, there’s some things that you shouldn’t worry about ‘fixing.’ Sunday morning I got out this skort, that goes with the Hawaiian shirt that follows the theme of the service (a surfing VBS thing) and the front of the skort is a bit wrinkled. Not a problem, I get out the ironing board and proceed to look for my iron. I can’t find it anywhere. Larry can’t find it anywhere. Okay… I’ll just dampen it and toss it in the drier. Problem is, it’s the only thing in the dryer and it clumps up and comes out wrinkled worse than before. Ugh…. So I dampen it again, (no I do not have several Hawaiian themed outfits in my closet) and use the hairdryer on it. Now it looks somewhat like it looked before I started the whole process of ‘fixing’ the wrinkle.

There’s this verse that says these things happen so that you can encourage others… “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthian 1:4NIV

So Sunday night we had our small group over and we were waiting around for the last couple to show up. (this is the wrinkle) So I think to myself, “I’ll just give them a call to see if they’re coming or not.” Which is cool, but I make the phone call in front of everyone, and since we’re all hungry, everyone’s watching me. When they answer, she says, “Oh, you know we got busy, and there’s other things we’d rather do, so no, we won’t be there tonight.” (at least that’s the way I received what I heard) So now I’m having to do some self-monitoring (a word I’m learning in college;) I’m trying really hard not to be offended and struggling to think of what to say. So my husband calls out from the other room, “Well?” and I say, “Oh they’ve got other things they’d rather do, so let’s go ahead and eat.” But I know that my body language is really struggling to keep everything neutral. The problem is, this isn’t the first time that they’ve had other things to do when our small group met, and not the first time that they couldn’t come to our house for similar reasons. (additional wrinkles) The problem is in trying to ‘fix’ the problem I created many more wrinkles, because the couple is our pastor and his wife. So now, because of my hurt feelings, I’ve created some negative impressions that maybe completely unjustified, and may never get completely ironed out. Ugh!!! Thoughts are NOT neutral. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says we should “….take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.” Here’s the original wrinkle, when I was offended the first time I allowed myself to justify my negative reactions and didn’t really take it to God. Then as other experiences came along they stuck to the original offense. Then when I got caught off guard those ‘wrinkles’ that I had been collecting really showed up, and they showed up in a way that wasn’t flattering to my brother and sister in Christ. Ugh!!!

I believe God would have me to encourage you to not allow little wrinkles to bother you, don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is full of wrinkles and life goes on. You and I can have a wonderful time with our brothers and sisters in Christ if we focus on each other and NOT on the external ‘wrinkles’ that need ironing.

Weeds

by Audrey Wauson

So one of the very neatest things about having a new house is how wonderful it feels, how much space there is, how great it is to have a place for everything. One of the not so neat things is all the things that can go wrong, not work, need fixing, have to be cleaned. Well, the house was not what got my attention this morning, it was the weeds. Now that we’re watering the grapes, the fruit trees, the sod (new Lawn), the garden, we have weeds, weeds everywhere of all kinds and sizes … ugh. So the sun’s coming up and it’s shining gently on the beautifully green grass, and peaking through the trees, and bathing the grapes, and warming the garden … and all I can see are the weeds.

Well that got me to thinking about how some days I can’t see anything beautiful or wonderful in my life, I can only see the weeds. This morning was one of those days. As I was squatting down to pull up a section of weeds, I just felt God gently nudging me to lift my eyes and look at the sun peaking up over the mountains, streaming through the trees and resting on the grass. Then later when I was reading in Psalms, again I felt like God was reminding me, “Keep your focus on me. There will always be some weeds, some you will be able to pull up, others you will struggle with for awhile. But I am here now. I am your life. I am your salvation. If you will come to Me I will show you what to do and where to go. I will live through you and you too will reflect My glory.”

So this morning, I just want to encourage you to keep your eyes on the Son. He will help you with the weeds. And He will also show you great and mighty and wonderful things that you have never seen. I pray that the God of all comfort will bless you and keep you this beautiful day that the Lord has made. I WILL rejoice and be glad in it and I hope you will too!

God Will Make Something Special Out of You

by Barbara Chadwick

Exodus 24:18; 25:10-15

Moses was on Mt. Sinai with God forty days and forty nights. I wonderwhat that was like? Oh the wonder of it all. Awesome!

God told Moses to make a chest. The people were to bring offerings ofgold, silver, etc. to use in making this chest that was to besomething very special, the Ark of the Covenant.

Now, some, maybe all, of this gold and silver and so on had come fromthe Egyptians. Isn't that interesting?

God is going to make something special for His people, His chosenones and He asks them to bring the stuff the Egyptians had just giventhem before they left Egypt. He's going to make something Holy andHe's going to use not new gold and not gold held only by pure hands.

Isn't that just like God? He takes us human beings - not pure butvery common and blemished and wraps us with His cloak ofrighteousness, made possible by Jesus death on the cross; then Hedraws us to Himself in fellowship.

Awesome!

I Wouldn’t Have Done It Like That

by Audrey Wauson

The other day we were listening to one of our favorite preachers, Bob Coy. Actually we were watching him online. We have just discovered that we can do this, so we picked a random sermon to watch. Wow, God is so sovereign He can even cause us to pick sermons that hit right at the heart of an issue that we don’t know is an issue. This one hit us both, but me most I think.

He began talking about how we don’t like authority…in any area. Well here’s what I found. This one statement, “I wouldn’t have done it like that.” is my most prideful and rebellious statement and I make it all the time. Here’s how it goes. I go to the ER, they are incredibly disorganized and I immediately have a thought (more like a complete plan) on how they could improve things. That thought affects my attitude. I begin to fill with pride. Then they take me back to one of the rooms and I immediately notice the color of the paint and think, “Why don’t they paint this place some color that would inspire wellness?” Pride is now blossoming. There is not enough space to write all of the things that I notice that could use improvement or change. Then the Dr sees me and I’ve been so busy noticing all that’s wrong that I’m very pleased because she matches all my expectations. However, I begin to project all of my frustrations (You know frustrations that things aren’t going exactly like I would do it.) onto an internal dialogue regarding how incompetent this place is. By this time I can barely hide the disdain I’m feeling from my face. And I know what an ER should be run like because … I’m a professional and have run ER’s before? … NO-o-o … Because I’m a know-it-all and am full of myself? … much more likely.

Well, here was Pastor Coy’s point. God in His sovereignty sets up kings and queens, rulers and authorities, and other things and people … like ER’s, like school administrations, like realtors, like everyone. I mean He is the one who set up the chessboard. He is the one who moves the pieces. He is the one who decides. There is really very little that I get to decide, thank God. I mean really, you should thank God that I don’t get to decide how everything is run. So any and all statements should be sent directly to Him, something like, “God, what were you thinking?” or “Why in the world do You allow this person to work here?” Wow, that sounds a bit presumptuous … that’s because it is presumptuous. Unbelievably, God can handle it. He wants to dialogue with us. He wants to share with us His thoughts. Perhaps He would say, “I allowed that person to be working here so that when you came in they could see what I’ve been telling them is true, Christians do have a hope and a future and a plan. They are not abandoned orphans by a distant god. And they don’t try to run the universe themselves.”

Some of the biggest messes in life come from people deciding things for their friends and family. “Here’s what I think you should do…” or “Well, if you ask me …”

God, please help me to keep my mind, my thoughts directed towards You. If I’m struggling with incompetence remind me that I can talk to You directly about the problem, that I can trust You to know what You’re doing. Help me to still and quiet my soul like a weaned child with its mother.

Psalm 131
My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, (O Audrey) put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.

Excuse me while I go and apologize to my family and friends for getting in their face, for telling them how I would do it … wow, I may be busy for awhile ;)

Mother’s Hands

By Barbara Chadwick

I remember my mother’s hands. They were the hands of a Proverbs chapter 31 woman. They were mostly gentle. However, when there was a need for discipline they became stern.
I saw her hands gently cleaning the blood off of Mrs. Shanahan’s head and face one day when her husband had beaten her and pulled out some of her hair.

I remember those hands hugging Maxine when her daddy had died and her mother had to go to work to care for the family of five. Then when Maxine would come early on Sunday morning, those hands would wash her face, put one of my dresses on her and feed her breakfast before we would leave for church.

With her hands she ironed for others so we could have piano lessons.

Melodically her hands played a little pump organ for a service once a month at a ranch in New Mexico (about two hours drive from our home in Roswell) where my daddy had been asked to preach.

A year or so later she would pack our clothes and bibles to go to El Paso Gap (up in the mountains from Carlsbad, NM) Every other weekend my daddy was to preach at this little mountain community. Even in the early 1950’s some people came to the school house for service in a horse drawn buggy or wagon. They often paid him with milk and eggs.

She combed, braided and cut our hair. Four girls. Every day. I can still feel the comfort and warmth of her hands touching my face while arranging my hair.

As she cut cloth, and worked the sewing machine we would wait in anticipation and excitement of what new thing her hands created for us.

She enjoyed using her hands to cook. We often had a visiting preacher or missionary in our home. They always spoke of being blessed by her hospitality.

She sang from her heart in church. She would hold the hymnal and encourage us to sing. The Bible was familiar to her hands, in church and every day at home. When I would fidgit in church her hands would squeeze my knee. Ouch!

She cleaned house with her hands but what a sweet memory it is for me that she sang while she cleaned. I wish I had done that for my children. I’m afraid I did more complaining than singing!

She prepared Sunday school lessons, helped with Vacation Bible School, taught the nursery, prepared and led Women’s Missionary Union meetings. Later, after her children were grown she prepared Wednesday night meals for the church and led state Girl’s In Action conferences.

Her life truly exemplified the words in Ephesians 5:2; “Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

God Is Not Through With You Yet

by Barbara Chadwick

Hebrews 13 :20-21May the God of peace... equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be glory forever and ever.

I call my 90 year old mother often. For the past year she has sounded a little down and maybe depressed, almost like Eeyore. But, yesterday when I called she sounded actually perky. I said, "How are you. You sound good." She answered, "The sun is shining today and I'm feeling just fine! I had been thinking that the Lord was through with me. I've lived a good life and I was ready to go home to be with Him. But this morning I'm feeling like I'll just live to be 100!" She has blessed countless people with her encouragement, her prayers, her smile and the way she lives out her faith in Christ.

God is not through with you yet. As long as He leaves you on this earth He has something for you to do. he will equip you for doing His will. So get up every morning as if the sun is shining (because His Spirit shines through you) and ask Him to speak through your words and actions that day.

God Desires

by Deanna Chadwick

God desires for us to totally trust in Him and rely on Him to help us do what we need to do. However, He does that by giving us talents and it is our responsibility to develop those talents or abilities in order to serve Him better. I don't think we have to have perfected our skills before we use them, but continuing to work on them if we feel we can do better is a good thing. I also think that everything needs to be wrapped in "doing it for God's glory and not our own". If we are doing something just because no one else is doing it, but are struggling and not feeling at peace about our contributions, then maybe that's not what God wants us to do and we have "stepped in to fix things" rather than waiting for God to show us (or someone else) where He wants us. I mean, it is one thing to step in in a pinch to do something that needs to be done, but it is different to do something on a continual basis and struggle with it.

If I felt God was leading me to do something, then I would expect to do whatever it took to make me feel like I was doing my very best job at what God asked me to do. I believe that everything I do has the potential of being used to praise God and therefore everything I do needs to be done to the best of my ability. Sometimes my ability in one area is greater than my ability in another area. That is ok as long as I am doing my best at whatever I am doing.

For example, I feel that hospitality is a talent I have. Therefore, when I am responsible for a dinner or I am having someone over to my house, then I need to put out my best effort to make it an enjoyable time for those people - make them feel comfortable, important, etc. I ask God to help me choose the right combinations of people to invite, to bless each one of them as they are in our house, that our conversations would be encouraging and uplifting, that we would be able to minister to them in some way.

On the other hand, public speaking is not a talent of mine. However, if I am asked to speak before a group, read something or give a devotion, then I give it my best and totally depend on God to make it all come out right. Time and time again, I have been approached about doing something, and my gut reaction was NO WAY! Then, I felt uneasy about my response, felt like God was saying, "Really? Are you saying I can't do this through you??", so then I have said, "Ok, God, if You really want me to do this, You need to make it very clear to me." He does, and I do it and am in constant prayer the entire time and totally dependent on God to work through me and just allow myself to be the vessel.

In His parable of the talents, God shows us that He wants us to take what He has given us and increase it or at least use it, but not to bury it or hide it. The Bible also instructs us to love God with ALL heart, soul and strength. That's where I get the idea that everything I do needs to be to His honor and glory - to show God I love him. I love the homemade gifts that Abigail makes me now just as much as when she was 5. They are on different skill levels and it shows, but because they came from her heart they are precious to me. I think God is the same way - He loves the offerings/gifts we give to Him regardless of the skill level with which they are presented, if they are coming from the heart and are our very best effort.

Deu 6:5, Matt. 22:37, John 21:17, Deu. 11:13, Jos. 22:5, 1 Sam 12:24, Col. 3:22, Luke 9:62

I hope this might be helpful to you. I came to a point where I had made myself almost insane trying to be everything to everyone and had become someone I didn't like very well. After learning to set my boundaries, learn to say no and realize I didn't have to jump in and do everything, I have learned to really enjoy what I can do and the person I am. I find greater fulfillment in the things I do do - even in the things I don't think are my greatest strength. I feel more at peace about having given my very best effort and knowing that as long I did my best and did it from my heart, that's all that matters to God.

Do I still try to improve? Yes.

Do I get wrapped up in the how and the what instead of focusing on the for Who? Sometimes, but He gently reminds me that if I am stressing about something not being good enough, then maybe I am trying to give more than He is asking of me.

I can honestly say that I am at a point in my walk with God where I have never been before. I feel so close to Him. I think I had to "be still and KNOW that He is God" in order to really tune into Him and His leadership.

God Cares

by Deanna Chadwick

Job 23:8-10 "I cannot find God anywhere-- in front or back of me, to my left or my right. God is always at work, though I never see him. But he knows what I am doing, and when he tests me, I will be pure as gold."

Have you ever felt like you couldn't find God? When something terrible happens, do you ever say, "God! Where are you? Why is this happening?" I have. But what an awesome realization to know that even when we can't see Him, God is always at work.

My favorite verse – my "life verse" is Job 23:10. "But He knows the path I take and when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." I take great comfort in the knowledge that God KNOWS what I am going through and is right there with me even when I can't see Him. If I trust in Him, depend on Him to bring me through the fire, I will come forth as gold.

Fool's gold is shiny and sparkly, but when put into the refiner's fire, it will not prove to be real gold. Separating out the impurities through fire creates more valuable gold. I want to be more valuable to God. I want to be the real thing that pleases God, not the sparkly stuff that attracts the world.

So, if God needs to put me through the fire to make me more valuable to Him, then I will cling tightly to Him, totally trusting Him to bring me through the process and praise Him for caring enough about me to refine me so I can come forth as gold for Him.

Pruning

by Audrey Wauson

We who with unveiled faces
all reflect the Lord’s glory
are being transformed into His likeness
with ever increasing GLORY
which comes from the Lord,
who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

Have you ever heard or read something and thought, “Oh, I wish so and so knew that. It would really be good for them to hear that.” ? Well, I’ve spoken to groups of women where I thought, “Lord, so many women need to know this. Why didn’t they come?” Or maybe like me, you’ve sat in church and heard something from the preacher and nudged your husband, child, or friend…as if to say, “Pay attention to this, he’s talking to you.” OK, so I probably do that more than most people do ;) Anyways, last fall I was listening to a woman speak at a ladies’ retreat and she was talking about all the work she put into a Bible study that she was doing for this class. She began discussing this with God and said, “I’ve been working on this a long time and only one person showed up!” Then God told her, “It was for you!”

My mother was here visiting with me for a couple of days and she went with me to our church’s praise team practice. I had discussed with her before some of the areas that I felt like we as a praise team needed to work on and after it was over I asked her if she saw the things that I was seeing. Basically her answer was, “Yes and you’re the one doing it!” Ouch!

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit,
while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes
so that it will be even more fruitful.”
John 15:2

Well, today I feel like I’ve been pruned! However, there is some good news . . . I must have been bearing fruit! And I do truly want to be a fruitful Christian and not some plastic/wood imitation.

Lord Jesus, please purify my heart, create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me. I want to be useable. Please help me to listen to You. Thank You for making me glorious! Amen.

I Can Think Clearly Now

by Barbara Chadwick

Ephesians 1:3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing... And verse 16: I do notcease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers.

These words of Paul speak to my feelings about my family. What a blessing they are to me. I hold each name in my hand every day and visually hold them up to God in prayer. But these are my thoughts onNew Year's Day of 2008."

The house is quiet. I can think clearly now. What a joy it was to have them all here, and how it blesses me to know they wanted to come. It was a lovely time of sharing, playing, kidding, singing, gifting, receiving, noise and laughter. I know I'll want them to come again, as often as they can. But, this morning, right now, I can think clearly again.

God Has A Plan For Your Life

by Barbara Chadwick

Genesis 16:6-13 (The Message)The story of Hagar, Sarai's maid

Hagar is running away. Her heart is heavy. She thinks her situationis hopeless. She is scared, confused, pregnant and alone. In verse 7God speaks to her, "Hagar, what are you doing here?" and in verse 9He says in essence, "Go home." The God of grace and mercy gave herhope that day. In verse 13 we see her response to the God of tendermercy who reached down to the barren desert and touched the heart ofa girl whose heart was aching, "She answered God by name, praying tothe God who spoke to her, 'You're the God who sees me!"

God saw her. He knew her life story - all the parts before this andall the parts yet to come. He had a plan for her life.

God has a plan for your life too. In Jeremiah 29:11 God says, "I knowthe plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future.

"Where are you today? Jeremiah 29:12-13 show how God will respond ifyou call on His name, "... you will call upon me and come and pray tome, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when youseek me with all your heart."

BUT… (Part II) …Shut Up & Color

by Audrey Wauson

Compare the Last generation’s reaction (Numbers 13) to God’s desire to bring them into a wonderful and glorious place with the Next generation’s reaction (Joshua 1)…

Joshua 1:1-11 After the death of Moses the LORD's servant, the LORD spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses' assistant. He said, "Moses My servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. I promise you what I promised Moses: 'Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you—from the Negev wilderness in the south to the Lebanon mountains in the north, from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea in the west, including all the land of the Hittites.' No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.

"Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

This is My command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

…Joshua then commanded the officers of Israel, "Go through the camp and tell the people to get their provisions ready. In three days you will cross the Jordan River and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you."

…Jos 1:16 They answered Joshua, "We will do whatever you command us, and we will go wherever you send us.

While we were stationed in Panama, one day my husband was in his commander’s office griping. Finally, his commander just looked at him and said, “Ssgt Wauson, just shut up and color.” We can either focus on the negative, coloring our world in ugly, non-matching colors, and be like that generation that died in the wilderness…just a stone’s throw from the promised land … OR we can accept that God knows what He’s talking about … We can believe that if God tells us to do something, even though it might be hard, or scary, or … He is God, and He knows what He’s asking us to do, and He knows that we can do it with His help …. and “just shut up and color.” We can color our world with the beautiful colors of peace, joy, love. We can color our thoughts with everything that is pure, and lovely. (Philippians 4:8) What color is your world?

BUT . . .(Part I)

by Audrey Wauson

Numbers 13 The LORD now said to Moses, "Send out men to explore the land of Canaan, the land I am giving to the Israelites. Send one leader from each of the twelve ancestral tribes." This was their report to Moses: "We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country—a land flowing with milk and honey. Here is the kind of fruit it produces.

But … There always seems to be a “but” when we want to complain, gripe, or whine. They told the truth about the promised land, briefly describing the benefits, BUT… they spent twice the time describing the things that worried them.

Numbers 13:30 …Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. "Let's go at once to take the land," he said. "We can certainly conquer it!" Caleb saw the benefits and wanted to focus their attention on “whatever is good, whatever is right, whatever is of a good report” (Philippians 4:8) BUT… is very difficult to quell a negative rise. Negativity is SO contagious. The rest of the chapter is their negative encouragement to each other, their egging each other on by worse and worse predictions.

What “But’s” are keeping you from living a victorious, full-of-joy, Christian life?

Waiting

by Barbara Chadwick

Genesis 7:6-10
Verse 10 says, "and after seven days the flood waters came."

Seven days in the boat with a wife, daughters-in-law and who knows
how many animals. Waiting.

Do you remember that waiting mode? What to do with yourself while you
wait to hear whether you got that position; or waiting to hear the
results of a medical test; or waiting for a baby - those last few
days before labor begins or waiting to get pregnant.

Waiting on the Lord's timing. It's hard.

Do you fret or trust? Do your take things into you own hands (like
taking castor oil to see if it will jump-start labor) or just rest in
God's providential care and timing?
Do you complain or be grateful?
Do you whine or sing?
Do you cry or pray?

We do cry and whine and complain sometimes and tell the Lord about
our pain. That's OK. But, it is vital for us to praise Him for His
majesty and Glory. Thank Him because He has considered us worthy to
bear His name; and it is very important for us to pray for Him to
give us grace and strength.

He has promised that when we go through the waters He'll be there.