DIET

by Barbara Chadwick

This time of year lots of people have started a diet. Me too!

You remember the scripture that talks about your body being God's temple? So we do want to keep it in the best condition possible.
     Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple
     and that God's Spirit lives in you?
     ...God's   temple is sacred, and you are that temple. I Corinthians 3:16-17
So I want to share a diet with you.  :-) HAPPY NEW YEAR!

     Recently, I went to my local grocery store to buy a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet Jake, the Wonder Dog. While standing in the checkout line the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (Did she think I had an elephant?)
     So, because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I said, "No, I don't have a dog. I'm starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't."
     She had a confused expression .
     Breaking the silence, I said, "Yeah, the last time I ended up in the hospital. I lost 50 punds, but I woke up in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms."
     Her jaw dropped.
     I continued, "Essentially, it's the perfect diet. You load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete and the results are good. I think I'll try it again!"
     By now practically everyone in line was enthralled with my story.
     She looked horrified. "Did the dog food poison you?" she asked.
     Matter-of-factly, I said, "No, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me."
     (Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.)
                      by Chuck Lavelle - taken from Colorado Life magazine