Handicapped
by Barbara Chadwick


Beth Moore talks about Lee Sizemore in week 6 of her study on Esther and the huge contribution he made to the area of discipleship. He did it all from a wheelchair. He was handicapped. She says, "Lee and I often mused that God had rarely paired two more handicapped people for His Kingdom: one physically, the other emotionally. When no other excuse remains except the mercy and power of God He gets more glory. May it ever be."

We all, at some time or other, feel handicapped in some way.

I used to feel inferior.

One excuse I made was that I was really chubby growing up and there were some children who made fun of me, calling, "Fatty, Fatty, there goes Fatty!"

Another excuse was that my family was poor with five children. I didn't have the clothes or the toys that some of my friends had or get to do some things they got to do. I did have some friends whose family situations were similar to mine but I also had several friends whose families were well-to-do and although I enjoyed their friendship I always felt inferior to them.

Then, there's the "I don't think on my feet" syndrome. I need time to think. I can always think of the right thing to say after I'm in bed that night! However, most of my friends had a gift for expression AND "On their feet!" but my first name should be Moses.

And lastly, I was born with a birthmark that covered my left ear and part of my face. It was called a hairy nevis. Those same children that laughed at my fat poked fun at my black ear. As an adult the hairy nevis part was removed, because the Doctor thought it was becoming cancerous. Now I have only the brown skin that covers my ear and a scar.

But you know each person has his/her own list for feeling inferior; but God is not the God of inferior! And there is only one place where we can get significance and worth. On page 147 of the Esther study book, Beth says, "We can find our significance and satisfaction in the shelter of the Most High."

When someone mentions Esther don't you just think of the words, "...for such a time as this." I believe each of us was born for just such a time as this. God has put each of us in a certain place at a certain time to give a hug, listen, encourage and even to give direction to someone floundering.

I was asked to tell a little about my journey.

My parents were Christians. My father was a deacon and my mother a leader in women's ministries. So I grew up in the church. When there was a visiting evangelist or missionary we always had them in our home for a meal. I would sit in the corner on a five gallon bucket of flour listening to the stories the missionaries told while the other children were playing outside. I heard stories of how God saved people and how He rescued them. In my own life I have experienced God's presence and power too.

My father became a bi-vocational preacher and one of the places he pastored was El Paso Gap, NM. This place was in the southern mountains of New Mexico almost to El Paso, Texas. It was about three hours drive from our house in Roswell. Our family stayed in the homes of ranchers for the week-ends and the church met in a one room school house on Sundays. Many of the people came on horses or in horse drawn wagons. And this was in the 1950's!

One week-end there had been rains and our car got caught in a flash flood. Most of the time the arroyos were dry but they were subject to flash floods. So there we were caught in the middle of a raging river in the dark. The water began to come up from the floor boards and soon it was up to our knees. We could feel the car jerking around in the swirl of water. We prayed, them began to sing, "God Will Take Care Of You." Before we finished the song headlights appeared on the other side of the river. "A truck!" we all exclaimed. The man turned around, backed into the water, hooked onto our car and pulled us to safety! We were not lost in the flood!

God had a plan for our lives. God used my dad to minister to the people in El Paso Gap and He planned to use me to be a help mate for my husband on the mission field in Home Missions.

Our part in the cosmos has been minute compared to Esther's part or even Beth Moore's part, nevertheless, He planned to use us to touch people's lives and to honor His Name.

I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 7. My Mother was ironing in the kitchen and I asked her," just how do you become a Christian?" She put her iron down and told me, "You have to realize that you have sinned and that Jesus can forgive you. You have to ask Him to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart and be your Savior." Then she prayed with me and I gave my heart to Jesus. I felt God calling me to Missions when I was 13.

In 1978 I was diagnosed with Lupus. Lying in bed and very sick I looked across at a painting of the Organ mountains outside of Las Cruces, NM. As I was praying I said, "God, You caused that mountain to rise up out of the desert floor. You created each different cactus plant and every flower in between. You created me. Here I am. Do what You want with me."

My journey with the Lord has been rich and wonderful. I can look back and see times when God used me to make a difference in someone's life but I'm ashamed to say that there were other times when my focus was on myself and I made excuses and God couldn't use me.

But as Beth Moore says, "When no other excuse remains except the mercy and power of God He gets more glory. May it ever be!"