Who Am I?

by Barbara Chadwick

We are in the parsonage in Juneau, Alaska. It is a temporary thing – just until the church calls a pastor. We are interim.

People have graciously brought things so we would be comfortable and we are grateful. One extra bedroom has only a twin-sized bed with a trundle bed beneath covered by a nice day-bed spread. I told my husband that we needed a desk in there. He’s very practical and said, “Well, we don’t have one.” I said, “Let’s just go look at a used furniture store and see what we can find.” He got that look on his face, you know, being his day off but wanting to please me, he said, “Let’s go!”

Before we found the used furniture place we found a new furniture place. They had a beautiful small desk for only $150! We looked it over. There were so many things to consider here:

- Is this a wise use of our money right now?
- Would it fit in our truck for the trip back to Colorado?
- Where would we put it in our Colorado house?

I was having a little brain overload. You know, when you want something you don’t really want to stop to do – uh - considering! So we didn’t get it even though it really fit how I wanted things to look.

When we got home he said, “Let’s put our craft table in here.” My brain went - !!!. (That doesn’t stand for cursing it stands for “DID HE SAY THAT?”) The craft table looks just like what it is – metal fold up legs with a white plastic top!

“That’s just not who I am.”

The next morning, as I was standing in that room looking around those words came back to me, “That’s just not who I am.” And I thought, “Who AM I?”:
- A child of God
- A wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc.
- A retired piano teacher. I am subbing in the pre-school at our church. Today a four-year-old boy came up close to me and said, “Your face is too crowded.” I’m not sure but I think he was talking about wrinkles!
- I like pretty things. I’m not very practical.

Then I thought, “Who do I want to be?”:
- I want to be a person God could speak to and I would hear His voice
- I want to be an encourager in the life roles I have
- I want to have more wisdom and not be so - blond
- I think I want to be retired
- I want to exemplify the fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (NIV)

Heavenly Father, help me to be that person You want me to be. I want to love You with my whole heart, mind and spirit and I want these fruits of Your Spirit to be found in me.