Sunday, April 26, 2009

I Am Not Skilled To Understand


I really relate to the title of this poem/song by Dora Greenwell. It’s funny how the words to some songs are still relevant even almost 200 years later. There are so many things in life that I just don’t understand.

Some things are easy for me to just not understand … like why people would want to go up in a hot air balloon when they could be quite comfortable on the ground? Or why planes don’t just fall to the ground. Other things tear me up, like why did my sweet friend’s baby have to be born with so many birth-defects that he didn’t live past two months of age? And then why was it so important to her that Larry and I hold him after he was dead? Why did her boyfriend have to be such a jerk?

No matter how many days go by, I never seem to run out of things that I don’t understand, things that I just wish would stop or go away. On April 21, 2009 Texas A&M honored all of their alumni who had died. My friend, Kevin’s son’s name was called during the roll call.

I just don’t get it. I am NOT skilled to understand … why God would take my friend before her kids were grown? … Nevertheless, I thank God, He took her before her son was killed in that accident … how could you live through that? How does my friend Kevin make it through each day?

Jesus told us, “The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.” John 6:63. Then He says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.” John 14:1

Wow, trust is such a strong concept and yet it is so fragile to hold onto. Still, God has never let me down: Comforting me through many very dark nights (I was afraid of the dark) when I was young. Healing my body from mononucleosis when I was 15. Leading me to trust Him when I wanted a child but after 3 years of trying still we were not pregnant. Then trusting that only child to Him when he turned blue and nearly died for no apparent reason when he was 5 months old. Being my friend when we moved yet again (military) and I had to start all over making friends and learning a new place. Holding on to me while Larry, my husband, battled cancer. Giving me hope of life after the kids left home and the nest was empty. Trusting that He really did know what He was doing when He sent us to live in New Mexico.

I love the tag that Aaron Shust added to Dora's song in 2007:
My Savior loves! My Savior lives!
My Savior’s always there for me!
My God, He was. My God, He is.
My God, He’s always gonna be!

My God has always been there for me … I mean even when I didn’t understand what was going on … and there’s some things I don’t guess I’ll ever understand … but “I KNOW whom I have believed and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day!” I pray that you will truly be able to trust God. I pray that you will read His word, the Bible, because I know that those words will breathe a fresh wind of life into you and those words will bring you peace even when you don’t understand.

I Am Not Skilled To Understand
By Dora Greenwell 1821-1882

I am not skilled to understand
What God hath willed, what God hath planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
“Christ died to save me” this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my Savior

That He should leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange? So once did I
Before I knew my Savior

And O that He fulfilled may see
The travail of His soul in me
And with His work contented be
As I with my dear Savior

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace, from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my savior

Tag: by Aaron Shust
My Savior loves! My Savior lives!
My Savior’s always there for me!
My God, He was. My God, He is.
My God, He’s always gonna be!

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